Editing Practice

Paragraph A (body paragraph):

•    In my opinion, I am agreement on music therapy is a good method for health. For instance, I have heard that doctor often advices people to hear some gentler music to keep gently. That makes a good environment to help people to ease anxiety, and helps sick cure quick.

In my opinion, I agree that music therapy is a good method for health. For instance, I have heard that doctors often advise people to listen to relaxing music, because it keeps them calm. This makes a good environment to help people with easing anxiety, and helping cure sicknesses quicker.

Paragraph B (conclusion paragraph):

•  In conclusion, we can get different messages from the music. For instance, when we feel the stress of getting too much work to deal with, we can use the music to relax ourselves. On the other hand, we can also use music to keep our bodies to stay healthy. To me, music is a magic tool to help us managing our mind.

In conclusion, we are getting different messages from music therapy. For instance, when we feel the stress of working too much, we can listen to music to relax ourselves. On the other hand, we can also use music to keep our bodies healthy. To me, music is a magical tool that helps us to manage our mind.

Paragraph C (conclusion paragraph):

•   Music has many powerful ways to effects our body and mind. It relaxes our body and prevents the harmful effects of chronic stress. Now, we can think about music therapy and other benefits of it without wondering, and believe that music is a good tool for health.

            Music has many powerful ways to effects our bodies and mind. It relaxes our bodies and prevents the harmful effects of chronic stress. Now, we can think about music therapy and other benefits of it without wondering. Therefore,  I believe that music is a good tool for health.

BP#8

v  Being able to go green is a step to the frontier to help support the economy. As for me there is some little stuff that I could do at home to help go green. However, I could Wash laundry in cold water instead of hot, and also line dry my laundry. Furthermore, I could use my computer to pay as many bills as possible online, and shut off my computer completely at night and the turn off the lights when is not needed. Last, I could also have my own little garden, where I grow vegetables.

v  Regarding my country Guinea, West Africa: we don’t have issues going green as much as Americans. The reason why is because we have a lot of farms where we grow food, and gardens behind our houses. Plus our country is not urbanized as much as America.

v  By reading this article, one thing that really surprised me was that there are many ways for people to help go greener, starting in your house. For instance, we should recycle in our homes first; teach your family how to follow the process, and how to be greener. Therefore, this is a start we can do to help “go green.”

BP # 7

                                                             Credit Cards Debt:      

            According to this article "Bonus Reading Financial Responsibility for all: A myth or Reality?" by Lubie Grujicic-Alatriste in the New York Times, claims that many young people are been bogged down with debts, loans, and possessing too many credit cards. Therefor, this had caused a lot young college students in a big agitation, all because of the lack of understanding, efforts, and responsibilities. Moreover, credit card companies are luring innocent people, which is leading themselves in a adulterate. however, it claims that the only way to fix this issue is for the government to find away to force the institutions to take responsibilities as well as the people too. in fact parent has the part of the strength to educate its children how to save and be more responsible to take care of their own consequences. as a result, companies has to have the potential to explain the truth and the consequences at last.

             Reading this article, made me thought about college students like me might end up with debts if we didn't take the effort to understand it well as we suppose to. This also made me think of my cousin how serious she was with her whole debts and credit cards bill problems. It came to a time where my cousin was surfering to overcome these debts as soon as possible. It  tells me that the reason why she was waged in credit cards bills, its because she did not take the chance to understand the possibilities of taking loans or what steps can she take to be in the right page. therefore. because of the lack of understanding and being more careful, she end up in a big problem.

            Knowing that these issue are still happening, and is bordering many young people, we have to do something about it. I suggest the government or congress to stop banks companies from luring students to get credit cars without well clear understanding. But also make a law that claims people who are under 21 cant get credit cards without their parents agreements. However, there should be classes in school for these young people to be educated about debts and how to take care of loans and more. On the other hand if you compare this to my country Guinea, which is located in west Africa, its totally different. Therefore, in my country they don't have such thing as credit cards. Because we believe that you need the money before getting what you want.

BP #6

During the 1940s so on to the 1950s many doctors and researchers violated patients’ rights to privacy, in which they anticipate, was convenient. However, this was unacceptable to these patients due to the fact that doctors did not proclaim to them what the research was being used for, or being acknowledged about what would be the final consequences.

                Knowing that illnesses have had a way to be cured all because of the research that had been done in the past it good, but also ruthless because it had killed many others to figure out the remedy. For instant during the 1940s throughout the 1950s people such as colored people, Jewish, and poor’s suffered a lot because they were being researched on cancers, diseases, human radiation experiments on science without their consent. For example, during the Holocaust many Jewish where tortured for the cause of research. At that time Nazis thought to themselves, if they have these Jewish prisoners doing nothing, they could use them to do research.   However, they used them to do experiment, by testing them with cancer, infecting them with harmful diseases, opening them to study what is in the human body, and much more.  (Baruch C. Cohen1) http://www.jlaw.com/Articles/NaziMedEx.html.

                In contrast, as we know today there is a big comparison between the 20^st and the 21^st century on how to do research. Therefore, back then doctors used to do research on people without their knowledge, and that wouldn’t be a problem for them because there were no laws to prevent this from happening. Because of this, it leads lot of people in a danger spot that dishonored their privacy and caused them to death. In addition this is against the law in the United States. Nowadays government had set a law that said “The ethical, professional, and legal implications of this in the United States medical and scientific community were quite significant, and led to many institutions and policies that attempted to ensure that future human subject research in the United States would be ethical and legal” (From Wikipedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_States.

                To conclude, knowing that doctors used to use people to do experiment without their consent is really insupportable. Although this research had helped us a lot, it’s not right for anyone to take advantage of someone, no matter who you are or what race you in. By reading this it shocked me because I never knew this is how these patients where suffering and violated. 

BG#5 Soda Tax

According to this article “Soda Taxes Might Save 2,600 Lives a Year, But Certainly Make Cents” by Joe Satran, anticipated that many children and adults are suffering from obesity because of over consumption on Soda. Researchers estimated that if they add tax on soda it would avert Thousands, death, heart attacks, and also new cases of diabetes for the sake of public health. However, residence classes with the idea of a soda tax. These people believe that soda taxes are regressive, hurting poor people more than they hurt the rich. Consequently, the States should enhance tax on soda to prevent obesity.

                Nowadays, many children and grownups are roughcast about health issues. People are getting illnesses and problems because they are not eating in a better way. Somehow scientists claim that the causes of these health issues are the basic assumptions about the eating and drinking behavior of Americans and then, using a time tested computer model of American nutrition and health: Such as Soda. Soda is one of the unhealthy it drinks that is causing people to have high blood pressure, and diabetes because of the use of sugar, and calories. Therefore, this is playing a big important role in our health life stayer.

Therefore, to reduce this consumption study estimated that if they add Tax on soda drinks it would help defy these odds. This means it will help Americans, from getting over weight, Hurt disease, and much more. However, scientist claims that if they add Tax on soda it will lower this desolation by 15 percent among adults from age 25 to 64; which will make them swish to calorie-free drinks like water and diet soda. Furthermore, if the government gets those tax soda they could use it to help poor resident in the United States, help educate children, support gardens in urban communities, but also help buy military materials for the war. So adding tax to soda could help us in many ways.

In short, knowing that soda is playing a big important role in our health life, it is important to know how to deal with it. Some deem that the only way to help deflate illness and obesity in our dally life is to add tax on soda drinks. That way it will animate them to eat healthy and grow healthy because at the end of the day it’s for our own benefit.

BP #4 - Going Green

                                                                                                                                            Oumou Bah

                                                                                                                                              01/13/12

Going Green:            

•   Knowing that you are eating a healthy, sustainable, nutrition food is a benefit for you and others but also the environment.  Sometimes when I go shopping in the food market I get concerned about how this food is processed and is it sustainable or unsustainable for me. Because when a food is not healthy or sustainable is not good neither our environment nor people in our next generation, because it would be robbing people of the ability to grow food at all.  

•   Sometime when it comes to buying food or other products I do try to reduce carbon footprints. By lowering my diet, which could reduce the equivalent greenhouse gas.

•   Therefore, knowing that sustainable food is good and healthy for us is very important for us to get access on those fresh foods. According to myself I and my family has some access on how to get fresh but organic food: base on vegetables fruits and much more. We realized that eating un-chemical food and fresh from the farm or gardens is a benefit for us.

• Living in an urban place is hard to get organic, fresh and un-chemical food. The reason why it’s because there are no gardens where you could go and plant vegetable or farms. So this is a struggles that every person who lives in urban cities.

BP #3 - Mini Research on HeLa themes

                                                         Segregation In the 1940s-1950s:                            Oumou Bah

As we live on today, we as human had improved in a major way, compare to hundred years ago.  Nowadays we as the new be comers learned a lot about how people lived back then. We notice that during the time of 1800s and the 1900s people from different ethnic groups, races, and classes were treated erroneous; such as Black.  During those times colored people where discriminated by whites and faced a lot of battles through out their life. “By the 1900’s the southern legislators carried segregation to the extremes.” (Brielle Stonaker/Arica Shepard)

http://www.kawvalley.k12.ks.us/brown_v_board/segregation.htm

However, the legal system and police supported Segregation, and there were a threat by terrorist violence. The groups such as, The Ku Klux Klan/Terrorist and the Knights of White Camellia killed a lot of blacks because of the race; (Brielle Stonaker) http://www.kawvalley.k12.ks.us/brown_v_board/segregation.htm.

         Furthermore, “The Jim Crow was a system of laws and customs that enforced racial segregation and discrimination throughout the United States, especially in the South, from the late 19th century through the 1960’s,” (Arica Shepard). At that period people who where located on the south where mostly discriminated in school, in public, restaurants, and much more. Colored people weren’t allowed to share things with whites. This law didn’t only represented the legitimization of anti black racism, it also the way of colored peoples lived. This lead them to a completely separation between colored people and uncolored people. The reason why it’s because black wasn’t able to drink the same water fountain, Boating, rest rooms, buses, and restaurants. (A. Rapier) http://www.ferris.edu/jimcrow/what.htm.

         Although these people been through a lot, they weren’t able to give up. They faced the their enemies to fight the battles because they had to fit in; they knew if they stick together they would move the world more closely.