Editing Practice

Paragraph A (body paragraph):

•    In my opinion, I am agreement on music therapy is a good method for health. For instance, I have heard that doctor often advices people to hear some gentler music to keep gently. That makes a good environment to help people to ease anxiety, and helps sick cure quick.

In my opinion, I agree that music therapy is a good method for health. For instance, I have heard that doctors often advise people to listen to relaxing music, because it keeps them calm. This makes a good environment to help people with easing anxiety, and helping cure sicknesses quicker.

Paragraph B (conclusion paragraph):

•  In conclusion, we can get different messages from the music. For instance, when we feel the stress of getting too much work to deal with, we can use the music to relax ourselves. On the other hand, we can also use music to keep our bodies to stay healthy. To me, music is a magic tool to help us managing our mind.

In conclusion, we are getting different messages from music therapy. For instance, when we feel the stress of working too much, we can listen to music to relax ourselves. On the other hand, we can also use music to keep our bodies healthy. To me, music is a magical tool that helps us to manage our mind.

Paragraph C (conclusion paragraph):

•   Music has many powerful ways to effects our body and mind. It relaxes our body and prevents the harmful effects of chronic stress. Now, we can think about music therapy and other benefits of it without wondering, and believe that music is a good tool for health.

            Music has many powerful ways to effects our bodies and mind. It relaxes our bodies and prevents the harmful effects of chronic stress. Now, we can think about music therapy and other benefits of it without wondering. Therefore,  I believe that music is a good tool for health.